just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
