So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize