Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize