So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
