I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
