you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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