What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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