Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
