I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We are two peas in an std pod
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
