I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
