Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
