Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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