just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
