That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
