And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
