if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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