I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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