normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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