Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
