i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
