Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
