I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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