pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
