My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
