I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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