I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
