I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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