if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
