Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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