my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
