Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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