I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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