Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
