he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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