guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
