Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize