If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
