hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
another moral hangover. fuck.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
