in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wear drunk well.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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