You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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