I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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