It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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