At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
