I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
