Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
