you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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