ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
