It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
