One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
