Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
