if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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