according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
