She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
