A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's rum buckets o'clock
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
