David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
