i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
