She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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