I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize