We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We need to rekindle our bromance
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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