okay pat passed out under dana's car
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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