So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
