Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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