i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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