Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
