i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
