you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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