he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
