I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
