he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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